Ghosting or your mama didn't teach you any manners!

After you learn to avoid the scammers ( http://www.myfoxatlanta.com/story/27613674/online-dating-scam-who-is-fooling-whom for a great story on scammer turnaround)  you will need to know about ghosting which is the rudest thing ever.

So,  here is how it goes.  A man (or woman this activity has no gender boundaries) will like your profile, email and text you.  They may even call.  You think, hey,  this is easy, everything is going smoothly.    Then nothing.  You wait..you might even text or email.  Nothing.  You may even call (but you will get voice mail)  and nothing.  

You will see him online, you try to reach out but nothing.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is called ghosting and if you go on POF and Ok Cupid's message boards, it is accepted and even encouraged!

Why do they do it?  Where are some of the reasons I see online:

1.  They met someone else.  Someone that they clicked with better.  BUT NOT SOMEONE BETTER!   Don't take it personally.  This usually happens before you meet.  It is rude but it doesn't reflect on you.  Just because his testes never dropped doesn't mean you are not worthy.   This is the biggest reason it happens.

2.  Their wife/girlfriend/mother finds out and cuts them off.  This doesn't happen often and their profile would disappear.

3.  They are a scammer and you are just too intelligent for them and they gave up.

4.  They work for the site and are only on there to garner interest so people pay for upgraded memberships.  I found this out directly as one came clean and said he was a programmer and they all had to take turns chatting the women up.  (this was Matchmaker - don't know if the new ones do this).

What burns my biscuits is why can't they just say,  hey, I'm seeing someone else.  But the Internet is all about being anonymous and that gives you a right to be mean, correct?  Jeez, Louise.

A friend gave me some sage advice, if a guy tells you he is going to contact you and he does not or he does not show up a first meeting - do NOT text, email or call.  If he got in an accident or was kidnapped by pirates, he will find you to let you know.  Do not give them the satisfaction of appearing one iota desperate or needy or that you care.  And if the come around months later (and some will) walk on by.

I've been a victim many a time and I'll share my stories in the weeks to come.  They are good, bad and very ugly.

Welcome to my world!

I am starting this blog to a) give all my friends in relationships a reason to stay in their relationships and b) to receive validation that I'm not crazy.

Single for 15+ years after an insane divorce,  I dipped my foot back in the dating pond about a year ago.  Oh,  I swam in it right after my divorce but decided I was still too raw and was attracting the wrong kind of men.

Ok, it has been 15 years,  I am WAY over the pain and the men are even more wrong.  And this is the blog to prove it.

Some rules/housekeeping:

1. Some of you may be my Facebook friends,  please forgive some double posts as I have some pretty good stuff I want to use on here as well.  I promise (ouch) to have new material .  Which means I have to meet more of these goofballs.

2.  To the men I have met online and have since become friends,  you will not see yourselves on here - unless you want to be a guest contributor.   I am loyal and the reason you are my friend is that you do not need to put down bread crumbs to make it home at night.  

3.  I may post pics with faces blurred out.  If you have put your pic on one of these sights and you have the dirty toilet seat up or it is a pic of your crotch,  you have given up your right to some privacy.  But I won't show faces or reveal names.   I don't want to be sued.   I do want to show my single friends what to be wary of.   However, if you are a scammer:  Russian or Nigerian.  I will post everything.  You are scum and should be run out of town on a rail.

Ok,  that is done.  Now on to my stories.   Let's start today with types of wrong:

First and foremost - scammers.

1.  Usually from Nigeria or Russia.    They will usually be from another city or out of the country as a either military or contracting.  Profile will sound perfect. (they usually steal from a legitimate profile)  First email will be perfect as well.  Second email will usually fall apart pretty quickly.  

2.  Example:  I was chatting with a guy who told me he one two children and wanted me to hit him up with passion.   Another asked me, "what is this zumba dance?"  A good old boy from north Georgia would not use that phrase.

I usually go off on them in a very non lady like manner (think four letter words) and they back off.   If anyone asks you for money, run, don't hide.  Or I can give you my ex's banking information and you can give them that.  LOL!

Till next time..happy dating!